Let it burn in your eyes. Your cover is blown this time.
And you knew this was gonna happen, you could taste the red hands.
And like the flies, you'll eat the worst of everything.
And you knew this was gonna happen, you could taste the red hands.
But you needed this.

There's a glossary of dirty words for people just like you.
And only for people like you, I reserve the words:
Backstabbers and money whores, and dirty rotten millionaires
that always wanted more.

Pull the wool on my eyes, like a crooked, burnt-out saint.
I believed and soaked in every word you said,
always tasting red hands.
But the fight never ended and we're all here.
Singing loud for revolution, and sitting battles out.

But you needed this.

There's a glossary of dirty words for people just like you.
And only for people like you, I reserve the words:
Backstabbers and money whores, and dirty rotten millionaires
that always wanted more.

And it's sick outside, but I'm trying to keep you alive.

And all fingers are pointing right at you.

But I burned this down for you.

Date:	2004-03-29 19:34
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	aggravated
Music:	new england metal hardcore festival dvd!!

what the fart is going on with my computer!!! i can't even get online or open any of my folders...blah!!!!!!

Date:	2004-01-06 00:35
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	dorky
Music:	fear before the march of flames

woo, it's been a while since i've been updating or going online. Well first of i like to wish everyone a merry christmas and happy new year to anyone i forgot to tell. Lifes been good. I've been happy and had no complaints. Even work has been pleasant. Nothing really gets to me that much anymore and hardly do i ever get stressed or let anyone bring me down. I've been handling this good for the past 2 months now. I don't know why. Maybe because i've seen so many people around me worry about things or get stressed over something that shouldn't even matter.
Music is going good. Maybe that's why i've been so happy. Maybe not...haha. Well divide the day is always rocking and were getting along a lot better now and taking things to the next level hopefully. Nevea is wonderful and i've built such a strong friendship with the whole band now. We get along so much and i always have goodtimes around them whether playing shows, practicing or just hanging out. Goodtimes. The Hurt is moving along slowly but surely. This being definately a side side project compared to the other two bands.
The past year has been pretty good i would say. Being out of school is definately a different life. Being on my own and taking care of myself, i'm happy to say i'm doing it. Meeting so many great people has been a plus this along with meeting new faces. Thankful that jenn is back in my life makes me happy. i never want to lose any of the relationships i have to the people i'm close to because it would just be hurtfull if they were gone. My bands make me happy and are family to me since my family is on the other side of the world. Music makes me happy. Buying over 200-300 cds make me happy...hahahah. I would make a new years resolution to not but as much cd's, but that's not a resolution. It's something i need...haha Playing shows makes me excited whether theres 1 person watching or 1000's watching. I still give all my passion. Making a top ten for 2003 is still in the works...haha. And oh it will be good. So many new albums came out this year that just blew me away and will forever a fan. I will post this soon enough. Missing my parents oh so much. Excited to see them sometime this year...oh i pray for their safe being everyday. Hmmmmmm, i'm gonna get some rest now for work tomorrow. until next time blogger!!!

Date:	2003-10-23 13:51
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	mogwai - tracy

i need a vacation.

the bled, american nightmare, daughters are playing this friday at chain. be there or be square.

going to a nevea party this saturday dressed up as elroy jetson while playing a nevea set in my costume. this will be interesting.

have a hurt show at UC Riverside in november.

have a nevea tears show at hogues november 2nd with yesterdays rising.

New divide the day is sounding good. But where are the vocals?? (scratches head)

Got the indiana jones box set dvd and kicks butt!!

I love azure ray forever!!

Any good cd's coming ou?. Wait, nothing ever comes out in the later part of the year so it's time to start buying older stuff.

Date:	2003-09-23 00:10
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy
Music:	american nightmare - were down until were underground

i'm listening to the new american nightmare (give up the ghost) and i can't stop listening to how good it is. There is so much good music out there. Some that move me and some that inspire me. I think music consumes my life but it makes me feel good. Whether it's being in bands, playing the music i love, or just listening to it. I can do it 24/7 and still not be bored of it, no matter how tired i am or how sick i am of listening to something, there is always something else to listen to or play that will change my mood. I love music and the moods it puts me in. I'm sure its like that for most people, but i just wanted to write it anyways. all because of listening to american nightmare have i come to write to you.

Date:	2003-09-22 18:31
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	mellow
Music:	horse the band

OMGoodness, inland invasion was amazing!!! the cure and duran duran melted my heart away. When duran duran played "come undone", i knew the night would be special and that alone was worth the price of admission. The Cure, i'm just speechless. Ending with "Bloodflowers" was harmony. I've never heard a band sound so good as the cure. The sound cd perfect!!!! Amazing!!! Violent Femmes, Berlin, and Soft Cell (well just the singer) were sweet. Hot Hot Heat had the best stage performance and Interpol was just soooo darn goood. September 20th was special. Definately in my All Time Top 5. I am now inspired. What a weekend, mogwai, interpol, duran duran, and the cure. What more can you ask for?

On another note, my Korg MS2000 Broke, i just bought it 4 days ago and everything was working fine until Sunday. It was Nevea Ready!! haha, oh well. I guess that's what happens when you buy used from the recycler. First time this has ever happened to me where something goes wrong buying used!! I didn't ruin my weekend soo HAH!!!

So my other band beauty divides the man are now theHURT. I like it much better and it's much shorter.

Divide the Day is on another band downtime due to some band issues. When will this ever end, i soo want to play shows again with DTD. Well were just writing 20 hits for the masses. Watch out!! hehe

Nevea Tears will be recording an ep soon, i can't wait to be on it. Hopefully nothing breaks of mine..haha like my ms2000. October 14th, nevea in San Clemente....that will be fun, i'll keep ya'll posted on it.

Cya until next time blogger!!

Date:	2003-09-20 12:00
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	refreshed
Music:	The Perfect Circle - NEW ALBUM!! AMAZING!!!

Last nite was incredible. I decided last minute i wanted to go see mogwai in san diego because i knew i wouldn't be able to go saturday because of inland invasion..hahaha, i got tickets tooooo see the cure, duran duran, interpol, etc.!!! That's another story in it self. Anyways, i was afraid that mogwai would sell out so i called the scene and the lady told me not to worry about it selling about which it was pretty damn close. So i got there with Jenn, and found out that ISIS was playing and that was just a bonus. Only two bands played, mogwai and isis so i knew the show was gonna be amazing from the start. ISIS went on and they were just incredible. But i really want to talk about mogwai. While mogwai was setting up, my heart was beating pretty fast and my palms were a little sweaty. We were about 4 feet away from the stage so i had a close up view to feel every note played with the beats. The first note they played just made me want to cry. They have this unbelievable vibe when they play. It feels almost like closing my eyes and just listening to the music. The best is when they are finishing a song, it is so quiet and soothing. Most of there song structures go from soft to loud to soft. The dynamics are amazing. At the end, it sounds so beautiful and everyone in the crowd is just watching in amazement. Not one word spoken. This feeling is undescribable. Dang i'm just rushing to type. It must be because i gotta go to inland invasion right now. Until then....PEACE!!!!!!!

Date:	2003-09-01 16:30
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy
Music:	Hellfest DVD!!!!!! Woo Woo!!

dang, i never use this anymore. hmmmmm I think it's time for an update soon. Until then......hehe

Jeff

Date:	2003-05-01 00:06
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	artistic
Music:	porcupine tree - heartattack in a layby

There's still life at the end of the tunnel. Things are dandy. I'm keeping myself busy like always. I think i work too much...i even had to work on easter and this past weekend. Sucks to be me..hehe It's all good, i need the dinero.
Also waiting for my bands cd to be finish, it's about half complete. It's seriously taking too long, about almost 2 months now. We have a slow producer. Psh Nuts to that guy. J/K It's gonna be goodtimes in the next couple months as well because were also doing a few splits with some bands. Beauty to Ashes, Nevea Tears, and Stereo Tragedy in the summer time. That will help us out plenty. Hehee. I can't wait for every one to hear this cd!!!
I'm also doing a side project lol. It's an all asian band. We don't have a band name yet, we haven't practiced yet, and our first show is this friday at Cal State San Bernadino. hmmm, tomorrow will be thursday so we better get a move on. lol the asian band featuring members from beauty to ashes, divide the day, and markman markman...hahaha. Pop punk indie rock.
Dang, i've been too busy huh?? Haven't really had too much time to hang out with all my buddies. So Sorry i hope ya'll understand. Well i'll be posting again real soon. Tah tah

Date:	2003-04-03 18:43
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	geeky
Music:	radiohead - hail to the thief(amazing)

Let's seeee, last week was a nightmare. Throwing up, gagging, coughing up green,yellow,red,purple, taking 12 hot baths a day, a fever of 102, going to the doctors, going to the EMERGENCY ROOM!!!, YES THE ER, taking medicine medicine medicine, i have no taste in my mouth, not able to eat any food, missing work, sleeping 100 hours, eyes burning, face congested, stuffy nose, got 2 bags of IV in my system, hmmmm, anything else, i'm sure there was, i probably am missing a few more major details hehe, so yeah that was my last week nightmare. This week is much much better, i'm able to eat a little again and come back to reality. anywho, ttys melodramatic. I'm soooo dramatic, tee hee Oh april 12th we are playing with in ashes we lie,madison bloodbath, and some other band from LA at Schooners in Colton, yeah yeah i know, well at least its a place to play with some coool bands. Shows gonna be off the nizzle fo shizzle yo!!!!

Date:	2003-04-03 18:42
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	geeky
Music:	falling cycle - the conflict

i'm still here!! I've been using melo for a while now, but LJ is still top dawg...hahah

Date:	2003-02-21 14:57
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	thoughtful
Music:	falling cycle - the conflict

Yes yes i'm still in existance....hehehe, just been caught up with a lot of webs here and there. and to everyone, the show we had at hall of fame was amazing, i wish everyone could have made it. Over 500 kids showed up and the show was sold out. Another highlight of my life. Thanks to everyone that made it there. Oh and happy be-lated valentines to everyone i missed...take care...i'll be back and yeah my computer has gone to crap...grrr.

Date:	2003-02-01 01:42
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy
Music:	american nightmare - background music

"It's ladies night at the bar but she's smoking a mans cigar...i guess she's dying oh well. I don't give a fuck about you dignity, that's the bastard in me" -gj

What a fun and fullfilling week it's been. Things are still going up and down but that's life. I just have something on my mind that's been bothering...all the things to be in a band is very stressful, especially $$$, setting up shows, and touring...yeah i said touring. But yeah Tonight was fun, went out with "Jahsaki" and "Sierra Mist" to the glasshouse to see HotHotHeat and Minus the Bear. Let's see, Hothotheat=Lot's of FUN!! WEEEEEE!! "wanna dance and make up the breakdown" minus the bear is just damn good. It was great going and hanging out with jah and serra is always goodtimes and laughs...i also saw all my buddies there as well (jenn x, furn, dom (nevea tears), edgar, and met some other people there as well) What a suprise, i didn't even know the were going Oh and cursive played also tonight...i wish i could have seen them as well but oh well..it was sold out anyways and I got a free tix to see the show tonight...thanks to whomever bought the tix (jah or serra) Much Luv = )
Also i can't wait for the 8th...it's gonna be such goodtimes. Everyone i know i hope will be there...and nevea tears i can't wait for them to play with us...and beauty to ashes is playing with us as well...finally a show with my all my friends playing...it's gonna be great!! oops, i already said that.
Hey guess what!! I'm addicted to this game called the Sims on PS2...i'm rotting my life away hahahaha....jk I hope not!! tee hee
ZOINKS!! IT'S 1:30AM and i have to wake up early in the morning to go to santa monica with jenny and hang out at the beach later on....drive down pch for endless hours, listen to music, with the windows rolled down and the heater turned on...hmmm I can't wait now oh oh oh and Cursive is playing in san diego tomorrow...maybe i'll go if it's not sold out while the great melo party is going on tomorrow...hahaha. All and all goodtimes as always...take care, go to see underoath next week, and cough cough dividetheday, have a great night, i'm sleepy....page nighty nite
Jeff

Date:	2003-01-28 19:24
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	artistic
Music:	minus the bear - highly refined pirates

hey hey hey..i know i haven't been updating on LJ for a while.....been busy doing a lot of things....but i will be updating soon...things are going well and much better...but i gotta run...hope to talk to yall soon

Date:	2003-01-09 10:09
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	thankful
Music:	shai hulud - my heart bleeds the darkest blood

Pleading with nothing,
Why don?t we lecture about something?
Protest the way, we?re passive today.

We live like penguins in the desert,
Why can?t we live like tribes?

We?re born into silence, then let all be,
Lift your anchor then just float astray,
Born into silence, then let it all be?
Fortune in silence?

I know i know...when was the last time i updated or really talked to anyone...can't remember...it must be that long...haha...just want to say late merry christmas and a late happy new year. Hope all went well. To all my friends that i hung out with over the holiday season...it was great. Thanks for the goodtimes and gifts. I will be blogging away soon. Peace for now
Jeff

Postmark My Compass

I am bleeding through
Writing songs for you
If I could say what I felt
Then I would draw for you
I'm just a boy letting go of his heart
Because the days are like knives
And the knives are so sharp
One more kiss - so I don't forget
And then I'll open my arms
To embrace the regret
Fragile dreams - fistfight kings
Slowdance queens...
Oh pick me please
Sending "get well" cards to former stars
'Cause I know how it feels
To have fallen so far
Talentless yet nothingless
Than hopelessly in awe of you
I want nostalgia forever
If we throw this life away
Will we ever have to live again?
Say "no" and I'm all yours
Say "yes" and I'll still pull
Tell the boys I'll see them soon
Your lips were the softest yet
North, east, south and west...
I gave you my very best
I left my heart in yesterday
(Remember how it used to be)
I shot myself full of memory
(Before the world turned on me?)
Forget what you know
Forget that it hurts
The "new days" are coming...
They're getting worse
I am bleeding through
Writing songs for you
They're all for you

Date:	2002-12-27 04:41
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	sad
Music:	the quiet sounds of an empty room

It's 5am in the morning and i just want to cry.....wait...i already am

I guess it really doesn't matter.........at least i know in my heart i am truthful and honest and have nothing to hide.....this is my pain, this is my curse i must deal with...does anybody feel this way...does anybody feel like i do.

Date:	2002-12-19 11:26
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	aggravated
Music:	page 99 - document #5

OMG...i can't check my email, get into IRC to dl music, get into melo, LJ, why me!!...damn this age of technology..hah!! I can't sit at this computer any longer....grrrr

Date:	2002-12-18 14:09
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	cold
Music:	the red chord - sixteen bit fingerprint

the air tears at my skin - robbing my veins of the life i had hoped to have. you killed a part of me tonight and left the frozen air to finish the job. so now i realize the cowardice you kept behind your bloodshot eyes and awkward frame was calling the shots...and i was left depleted - grinning like a retard who thought you were there when you had retreated. i'm slowing down into a shallow circle while my heartbeat fills the gaps between sporadic and failing gasps. i'm face down in the mud with eyes still bruised and purple while my heartbeat fills the gaps between sporadic and failing gasps. i swear on my life that if i could take this knife out of my back, i would - but between the loss of blood and the loss of my trust in you, i don't think it'd do any good. if love existed we wouldn't be so soft and easy to ruin.

Date:	2002-12-17 19:45
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm
Music:	transistor transistor - pleasure viking

Woo hoo...i'm here updating again....yeah yeah...i just been sick and tired of the computer lately and going online....i always get like that when i use the computer for 2-3 months continuously everyday especially with a lot of things going on still with my life...just thought i write because i'm in the mood right now.....
What an awesome week....last saturday we had a show in Lake Elsinore and I was kinda bummed out because i wanted to go to showcase that same night....hehehe...an hour before the show....the promoter calls us up and tells us the show is cancelled woo hooooooooo.....i know i know, i should be excited about my show...so i decided to go to showcase to see beautiful mistake, hopesfall, atreyu, and avengesevenfold....too bad it was sold out..but luckily the great jah was there and met me outside to sneak me in......yup..i got in for free...i luv you jah even though you crush my heart down a one way street...*wink wink*....it was a sweet show and i even got kicked in the side a few times and punched in the lip...
Then yesterday i went to see curl up and die....they are effing awesome even though i already seen them...too bad they played a short set...met up with john and tanya..and joe, jason, travis, and joel where all came too...where the hell were you mike...damn you..oh i forget your broke...*eh what you gonna do*....the only thing that really disappointed me about cuad is they didn't play "she look cuter if i shot her in the face", i so wanted to hear that song...
Also...i'm mad that i missed from autumn to ashes and unearth at the glass house last sunday...the chick that sings on short stories with tragic endings" came out to do that song...and i heard unearth kicked serious ass...why does $$$ suck when you don't have it...
Anyways...all is well i think...things are a lot better than they were...where's my mom and dad when i need them...how come work sucks...and how come being in a band is stressful and frustrating..maybe i'll be blogging again soon...sorry for being a stranger online and being away from the computer so much...until then..peace
JeffShaw